Am I willing to do what it takes to beat depression? Yes, I am willing to do anything it takes. If I know I have to pull a traffic cone down onto my head and run around the block three times a day, then hand me the cone. I’m willing to do anything it takes.
Depression is a habit and I need to make changes in my life to help me break that habit.
When I am depressed my brain and body learn to secrete certain chemicals into my body and it is very helpful to work on changing those chemicals. Some tools to help me do that are:
- Do things that get endorphins flowing through my body such as: exercise at least every other day (I love my bike) and do things I enjoy doing (photography).
- Take anti-depressant medication.
Some other tools to help break the habit are:
- Keep a log of whenever I feel depressed. Make a note of everything that is going on; what theweather is like, time of day season, where I am living, with who I am living, am I tired, what did I last eat, everything. Once I have done that for a while look back through the log and see if I can find any patterns and then adjust my circumstances to help me be more in control.
- Organize myself. Get a daily planner, break it down into 15 minute intervals if necessary. Every night sit down and plan out the next day. Start with when I am going to wake up, shower, eat and go to bed. Then add the things I need to do that day. Start by making it a very simple schedule with just a few things on it. As I go through my days and accomplish the things on my schedule I will gain confidence in my ability to plan and accomplish things. As I progress I can incorporate any short- and long-term goals into my daily plan. As I accomplish short-term goals it raises my self-esteem and confidence. I don’t need to feel constricted and controlled by making a plan the night before because I am the one making the plan. It is my plan, and I am in control.
Depression is an emotion and doing these things will help me control my emotions rather than them controlling me.
Depression makes me have less will-power to do things and make changes, and changes are exactly what has to happen.
Depression, to a degree, takes away my free-agency and without free-agency I cannot progress and progress is exactly what I need to do.
In those moments when I am laying in bed and don’t want to move, don’t want to even care about caring I need a motivation factor to help get me through, and help me get up. For me some motivating factors are:
- I refuse to live this way the rest of my life, and if I don’t get up today, I’m not going to get up tomorrow, and so what’s the point.
- I refuse to let my emotions control me. I will control them.
- God’s plan of me is to progress and learn and have joy.
- Even though I may not think so or believe it, there are hundreds of people that love me and care for me and want me to be happy and successful.
Set an alarm to help me get out of bed and put it across the room. An alarm clock is beyond emotion and will help me snap out of being controlled by emotions. Use motivators such as this that are beyond emotion. (Side note: why is it called and “alarm” clock? I am the one that set it, why am I so alarmed? Perhaps it should be called and “opportunity” clock.)
Spirituality is tied closer to emotion than logic is tied to emotion. If I can boost my spirituality in a positive way it will be an effective way to affect my emotions in a positive way. I know logically that I don’t want to lay in bed all day and feel horrible. However the emotion of depression takes over sometimes but I can boost that emotion in a positive direction by boosting my spirituality.
“Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world” (Ether 12:4)
That’s all for this installment.
13 comments:
Hang in there Cody. Jilana and I reread Elder Oaks talk "He Heals the Heavy Laden". I personally listen to that talk whenever I feel temptations or we are going through tough times. I believe in the words of the prophet.
Eric and Jilana
You are right Cody. You can fight this, especially with this type of attitude! One thing the scriptures say a lot is "remember", and you will need to "remember" this attitude when times get tough and the pattern starts all over again! You are also right about hundreds of people loving you and supporting you through this. I love you. Jenni
We will pray for you Cody! We believe in you.
My favorite quote: What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.
The good news---you have what it takes to stay ahead of the beast.......!
Please read the book Where Eagles Rest... It is the greatest. aunt bev
Cody, I am so sorry you are struggling! We will keep you in our prayers! I can't really understand how you feel but I know that it is a real thing! You are a fighter and will overcome this because you're a strippling warrior! Love you, Rachel and family
mom i love that quote!
I think you are the greatest. Dr. Phil says you cannot cure anything until you acknowledge you have it.I think you are real brave. I have every confidence you will win. It may take some time, but you will conquer. We all love you and pray for you twice a day. We all have our weaknesses, so we cannot judge you. But I do say HANG IN THERE. you have a wonderful plan and a family that supports you. I worry about you going to Alaska. Love you much!!!!
Gma
Oh Cody! What a brave and trusting thing you just did, by telling all of us of your battle with depression! I ADMIRE you so much!!!!!!!!
To think that you are trusting us with that information and knowing that we will hold it safe in our caring hearts! It's true! WE are on your side! (No judging!) We ALL love and care about you very very much.
I learned alot by what you said. I thought if you had depression you just took medicine and waited for it to "work"? But equal to that is the fact that one has to change recognize and change poor habits and ways of thinking? Is that right? That's very good to know!
You sound so positive. You are so talented, Cody.... with tons of ability and potential.
I know with all my heart that the Lord is mindful of you and will bless you in your efforts to manage this "stupid" thing. I know you must hate it, but believe me, we all have something that we "wished just warn't thar!"
You will beat the beast be stronger...you are already helping others with this great attitude and knowledge.
I think depression tendencies are genetic, is that right? And so, one has to recognize that and be willing to get help. It's it grand that there IS help? (whew!)
Again. Your Auntie B is very proud of you sending hugs and loves!
No matter what storms may come, our family holds on to each other!
Cody--
First and foremost, depression is not a habit. It is simply an illness just like cancer. It is a physical illness that has primarily emotional symptoms--that's why it's so hard to understand and treat. It is not a personality flaw, it is not an attitude problem, it is not a lack of drive, or a laziness issue. It is a very misunderstood disease though. It would be ridiculous for someone to tell a cancer patient to "snap out of it". Same with depression. You can't just snap out of it. You can't get organized enough or work hard enough to overcome cancer. Same with depression.
Depression's worst enemy is stress. Different things stress different people. Whatever makes you think "ugh!" stresses you, even if it's as simple as taking a shower or making your bed. For some people, eliminating stress is enough to pull them out of depression. For many, it isn't enough, and medicine is required. Even with medicine, you can crash and have a depressed episode. So you have to learn to destress yourself. Buy paper plates if dishes bother you, say no when people ask you to take on another project, etc. Depression is probably something you will deal with your whole life.
There is a saying that I often hear that says "life is a mind game". Yes, it is a mind game, and mine doesn't work like it should. Depression doesn't allow your mind to work right. It hinders your ability to feel the spirit because it messes up your emotions. But it doesn't mean you are a bad person when you can't feel the spirit. It's there--you're living right--you're doing good--you just can't feel it. I know how you feel because I have suffered with depression for years, too. Don't be so hard on yourself. Heavenly Father knows your heart. He knows your energy, he knows your intentions, and he is forever patient and loving to us.
Cody!
You are amazing. It is amazing that you would share what you are going through with everyone. It is amazing how well you are doing. It is like night and day already. You are doing it. You are coming alive. We are so proud of you and are right behind you. WE have prayed and worried for you and will continue to do so. WE are so glad that you are sharing what you are learning as you are learning it because I think we all have at least a little of this in us. You are learning and changing so quickly and we are so happy for you. You are Amazing. We hope that you will continue to do great and continue to share and grow and do what it takes to overcome this. You Can do it....you ARE doing it!! We love you Cody!!
As I read through these comments it seems that there's not a set pattern or treatment for depression.
I guess each person managing this illness is different.
It's good to talk about it and know that we are not alone.
It's comforting to know that there is help available.
All of us want happiness a sense of well being.
I'm proud of you Cody. You are a great man!
Dear Anonymous...Arlene here...I have thought about your comment...
"Depression doesn't allow your mind to work right. It hinders your ability to feel the spirit because it messes up your emotions."
So I did a little research...(article referenced below) perhaps even though you don't feel the spirit - right now...by doing as you say - "living right" the Lord does knows your heart- you will feel the spirit...even when depression is 'having a go at you'... and He won't abandon you..He can't! He is bound to you by covenant. Read any Jeffrey R Holland talk for confirmation of that. Hang on to those promises...just keep reading the scriptures..praying and filling your home with good inspiring music...you will recognize the feelings again. This article encourged me..I hope it does you.
http://www.meridianmagazine.com/newsandyou/030619religious.html (just cut and paste into your address bar)
Also...I think our family has shown the power of family prayer...so we could all pray that those in our family who battle depression (especially Anonymous..because I know He knows who you are - even if you can't tell us right now, that's okay...we will still pray for you) We'll pray for an ourpouring of the spirit to help them. (YOU) I know Cody said..the thing that has helped him is Amazing Grace. That grace is available to you also. I know that. You will be in my prayers - living up close and personal to someone who shares the battle gives me great empathy. I love you - even though I don't know your name. I heard this yesterday and love it...A brave heart is a powerful weapon. May you have the desire to fight with a brave heart!
This is the link that Arlene was trying to get to work:Click here
Keep us posted, Hugs --Arlene
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