Anonymous here...

Well, I guess things are harder to explain on paper than in a conversation. I feel like some of you may have gotten the wrong idea from my post. My 2 goals in posting were 1--to educate a little more on depression, to try and dispell myths and judgements of self and others. 2--to help Cody. There is nothing in the world like a someone who has gone through what you have. It's like trying to explain giving birth to someone who hasn't done it. Counselors are great, family is great, someone who knows is greatest.

The only reason I felt like I could attempt to make these two comments, is because I have felt so awesome for the last year. I know what worked for me. I wanted Cody to know he wasn't alone and that there is hope. After years of suffering, I feel like I'm doing good, and I love it.

I didn't want to post originally, but after having people share thier road to recovery with me, I didn't want to be selfish. I have learned so much and have done so well--how could I not share that with someone else who is suffering?

I appreciate your prayers, but I don't want you to think I'm hopeless and can't feel the spirit, because it's the complete oppisite. Since being on medication and finding ways to destress my life, and quit guilt tripping myself, I am feeling the best I've felt in a long time, and I can feel the spirit stronger than ever. My testimony has absolutely been strengthened and I have learned so much about judging people, and about how much Christ loves us and is so merciful towards us.

As far as getting what we deserve from our life, I recently heard a talk on depression by Stephen Robinson (author of the parable of the bicycle and who also frequently has articles in the ensign, who has suffered for 8 years himself)He said-- the words "deserve" and "earn" are not in the scriptures. who would want what you deserve or earn out of life? I hope I don't get what I deserve, I want mercy. The job of making you perfect is His, not yours. We can't make it "up" to heaven. We can only look forward to Christ, and do our best, whatever that is, and he will put us in His pocket when he goes "up" to heaven.

A few good links to research:

Here is a great article I found on LDS.org on the “Myths of Mental Illness” written by Elder Alexander Morrison of the Seventy


http://lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem.b12f9d18fae655bb69095bd3e44916a0/?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=a9e72ee01e31c010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1

Here is a very good screening test for depression:

http://www.findingstone.com/services/tests/depressiontest.htm


Here is a “one stop shopping” LDS resource site for depression/mental health issues. http://mentalhealthlibrary.info/ It is a reference site that is recommended on the church’s official lds.org site in the “Provident Living – LDS Social Services ” section. This resource site is overseen by a board of directors which include such prominent church members as Elder Joe J. Christensen and Elder Alexander Morrison of the First Quorum of the Seventy (Emeritus), former Bountiful Temple President James O. Mason, Ardith Kapp, and other church leaders and BYU BYU Educators.

To go to the section on LDS resources on depression click on http://mentalhealthlibrary.info/library/dep/deplds/topic/info.htm

Also, an interesting note:
The Prophet Harold B Lee suffered with debilitating depression. For more than two years while he was a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles he struggled with this challenge. The Deseret Book publication Harold B. Lee: Prophet and Seer by L. Brent Goates has a chapter titled “Deaths Dark Angel Strikes” which talks of the prophets deep despair.